April 09, 2006
#21: Radiohead, Fake Plastic Trees
Continuing on with the annotations of the 512 songs.
Radiohead, Fake Plastic Trees
There are always going to be songs that make me cry. When you attach music to every memory you have, there are going to be songs that trigger a feeling; a broken heart, a loss, a hurt. You hear the song and you remember the feeling, remember the pain and you tear up a little or maybe cry all over again. And maybe you think you're just not going to listen to that song anymore. I have a lot of those tunes rolling around in my head and I keep them there for a reason, I keep them attached to the memories for a purpose; if we don't remind ourselves of our past failures and past transgressions, we can't grow.
The thing about this song is, I never really gave much thought to why it makes me cry. And we're not talking eyes filling up with tears and a little sniffle here. This song makes me bawl. Heaving sobs of despair and angst. It sends me into a tailspin that could last for hours. And every time I try to think about it, to figure out why it hits me like it does, I push it out of my mind, like I don't want to know. But I already do.
So I listen to it again. I get to the end.
But I can't help the feeling
I could blow through the ceiling
If I just turn and run
And it wears me out, it wears me out
It wears me out, it wears me out
And if I could be who you wanted
If I could be who you wanted
All the time, all the time
It's not just the words; it's the abject sadness and wistfulness in Thom Yorke's voice, it's the way the music sweeps up and then drops suddenly, the soul crushing way he Yorke meekly pulls the last "all the time" out of his throat.
And then one day comes when I look at those words and hear the music and I know why.